12 week blood tests

So, I know I promised to write every day but with a full time job, 2 kids ages almost 3 and almost 1 both of which have some issues that need attention and just life in general it's impossible to update as often as I want. That and the fact that I'm doing a 34 yoga classes in 40 days where you do yoga 6 days a week and in exchange finishers of the program get a free month of yoga. What's funny is that I'm so frickin' sick of yoga that I don't know how much I'm going to use my free month. But hey, it's the principle of getting something free!!! I am a cheap bastardette aren't I.
Tomorrow is my last class and it can't come too soon! I need a couple of days of rest. It's been hard trying to keep up but I think it has helped me not freak out and lose sleep over the fact that the effin' lab damaged my 8 week blood tests so I have NO idea how I've been doing OR that I'm getting a potentially deal breaker side effect in my eyes that has to be monitored VERY closely or that I'm about to find out soon something very important as in 12 week labs....
Friday I took my all important, life changing 12 week blood test. There are 3 ways it can go, lets go from best case scenario to worst, just cause I like to think positive.
1) I am undetected. This is the true blue best possible outcome. This will deem me a Completely EVR (Early Virological Response) and will probably mean "only" 44 more weeks of this.

2) I am > 2Log drop. This is an ok outcome but given that the last time I didn't achieve UND at all even at 48 weeks leads me to believe that this is probably what it going to happen. This would probably mean I would have to treat for about 72 weeks *a lone tear falling down my cheek*

3) I am NOT 2 log drop. This is the worst scenario as this means that not only the treatment did not work I am pretty out of options at least next year. Being that I am a genotype 1a AND a Stage 3 Fibrosis. I know, it could be worse but I really really want to get rid of this NOW not in 2 years. Plus 12 weeks of this down the drain honestly kinda sucks.

What's a 2 log drop you ask? In my case my initial viral load was 955,000 copies. At my 4 week blood test I had 21827 copies. That is a 1.67 log drop in 4 weeks (I'm good at math but not that much, I used a calculator).
For me to be in at least scenario 2 I need to have hit 9500 copies. That doesn't sound like a long way to go from 21827 but stranger things have happened.

I am oddly at peace with whatever the outcome may be, it's really strange. Last time I would lose sleep, stop eating, pace around and generally be stressed the week before the results. This time I barely have time to think about it. My children are first in my thoughts and sometimes there's so much stuff going on that I don't care about me much...

So anyone out there that reads this stuff, if you pray, meditate, declare (you know who you are :-) ), summon spirits of good. Please pray for a fantabulous outcome next week. I need all the help I can get!

8 weeks and 5 days

Almost 9 weeks into this and I can really say, Are we there yet????? I have a blood test for the 8 week milestone. Hopefully I'll be pretty close to UND (undetected).
The brain fog is in full swing. Sometimes waking me up in a panic trying to remember if I submitted my code for review or most scary, whether I did my injection!!! I need some kind of reminder. So from now on I'm going to try to write every day to remember if I injected or not. I'm such a dummy.
On a good note, I'm a yoga beast. I decided after 2 months of doing nothing to start back with yoga full blast. I did 2 classes for 3 consecutive days and didn't die. I must not be so bad after all.

Week 7, Day 2

Yesterday I started the 7th week of this lovely treatment. The effects are now decidedly getting worse but not so bad that I can't function. Mostly I do stupid stuff like almost crash into a curve or drive somewhere and not know why I drove there in the first place. The funniest one was one day while I was daydreaming about going back to yoga, next thing I know I'm in front of the yoga studio and I have no idea how I got there. It's kinda scary, kinda weird, kinda funny. You gotta laugh otherwise they'd be a lot of crying...
I am also super tired lately. I am sure is the blood chemistry doing what it's supposed to. The drug kills the bad cells in the body but in the process it also kills a lot of the good. All the rapidly developing cells are the first ones to die (red blood cells/white cells sometimes eye nerve cells and *gulp* hair cells ). I haven't yet lost any hair, thankfully but I know it's probably going to come... Funny that I'm more worried about being bald than blind. There's a saying that goes "Primero muerta que sencilla", "rather be dead than humble". As long as I still feel that way I know I haven't lost my "joie the vivre"
I am trying to take it one day at a time but I can't help but think that at the time where I hit UND (undetected) there will be 44 to 48 weeks added to the treatment. So even if I were to be UND on my next viral load test, I'd still have 11 months more to go. A lot of people go through 72 or even 96 weeks of treatment so I won't complain. All I want is this thing out of me. I'm working hard at it. I'm putting all my effort into getting cured...
I've decided I'm going to start meditation since right now prayer is not something I have my heart into. I've also decided I will start going back to yoga. I did my first class in 8 weeks today.
I gotta say I'm still in pretty good shape but there were a couple of times I did want to return my breakfast. Nausea and all, I love how alive yoga makes me feel so I think I'm going to suck up the nausea and continue building my practice.

Well, that's it for my little cheesy gordita (youngest child) is up and we're about to go see some firetrucks and other fun stuff for my big tamale (oldest child). Loves his cars!

Week 6, Day 1

Today marks my 6th week on treatment. It's hard to believe I've been at this for 5 weeks already. It feels like it's gone by so quickly. It's such a blur. This past week has been really hard emotionally and physically. My oldest child had been sick last week with Hand Foot and Mouth disease running a fever. Fevers sometimes lead to seizures to the household was tense all last week hoping to avoid a seizure. So I've barely had time to think about my own side effects. Until yesterday...

I had my 4 week labs drawn a week ago which means I would see if the Infergen is working or not. I had a checkup with the nurse practitioner yesterday. We were the first appointment of the day which was great. They usher us in and we were waiting for only about 5 minutes when the Nurse comes in. She asks how I'm doing. I burst into tears. I didn't know where that came from. I couldn't stop crying. There are so many things going on right now and have nothing to do with my illness that it just felt like too much. She offered me an anti depressant. I respectfully declined. I think having both your children have challenges can make ANYONE burst into tears. Let alone someone who's injecting poison into her body every day.
The nurse was really really caring and understanding. We then moved on to my results. So here it is:
Starting Viral Load 995,000 IU/ml
8/6/2010 21,827 IU/ml
Yep, that's a decrease of 1.65 log (or 97% for those who prefer percentages) in 4 weeks! I am so happy that all this is doing something. It is a sacrifice but it's something I have to do. I want to see my children graduate and get married. No, scratch that, I WILL see my children graduate and get married!

So, it's been 2 weeks since I last published. Life has gotten in the way. Trying to work full time and taking care of a family while on this poison has proven quite difficult. Not physically difficult more like mentally difficult. There are too many uncertainties, too many questions, too many what ifs. I try no to think about the big WHAT IF? What if this fails? What if this is for nothing? Then one of my babies cries or smiles or does something inherently cute and I remember it's NOT for nothing. It's for them, if for nothing else, it's for them. My children need me. They are way too vulnerable and small right now to face the world without their mother. I need to be here physically. I need to be here mentally. I need to be here. There are too many things going on with them to let myself feel sorry about MY situation. I have to. I HAVE TO get out of this and I have to get cured, somehow. I may even start to pray as I need all the help I can get.
The current plan of action is to give this 12 full weeks. Then evaluate if its worth continuing. I will have 3 strikes before I'm out. At 4, 8 and 12 weeks I will get blood drawn to see how much if any of the virus is gone.This Friday I will get my first "important" blood test. See if I had made any progress eradicating the dragon.Not sure if they are looking for a specific number other than less than the original number. I really would love to be UND (undetected virus) but I am not holding out too much hope yet. I would love to have had a good, measurable drop. So, I'll take the number 10,000 as a viral load. That's what I'm shooting for in my mind.
So anyone who reads this, please pray, chant, meditate whatever you do to make it so I will be rid of this dragon. I need all the help I can get.
I won't know the result of said blood tests until August 12th, then I'll know what kind of progress we're making... I will definitely keep you posted!

Day 7, Injection 7

Today sucked! I had to try to insert the needle twice. I am getting anxious about the process of poking myself and as a result I end up not going through the skin all the way. So now I have 2 wholes per injection. I have decided I'm going to use only my legs to inject. For some reason doing it on the legs feels easier to me.
Side effects were a little stronger today. I felt dizzy and nauseous but nothing too bad. The only side effect I'm looking forward to is the weight loss. Though the last time I didn't lose a pound. I have a feeling this time I will lose some though. I don't feel as hungry and food just doesn't look as good as usual. Other than that I really do feel lucky that so far it hasn't been horrible (at least not yet).
The only thing I have noticed is that I have less patience with my older kid. He's in full terrible two's and is super clingy. I hope he snaps out of that state quickly because I don't have the energy to deal with it right now. I feel horrible for it but I just can't right now.

Day 2 and 3

Well, it's getting somewhat better. Last two nights were ok. No fever but some aches and pains. If this is the worse it's going to get, I'll take it! The only problem was having to do the shot in my stomach. It hurt like a em effer haha. It's kinda hard, logistically to "hide" to do the injection. I don't really want any of the kids see me do it. It's not the kind of memory I want to impress on them. Today was my first day at work on the drugs. I was doing fine except daycare called me to tell me my son had bitten a kid and drawn blood. Yay, just what I needed. Oh well, it comes with the territory I guess. It also makes me forget about my own woes I guess...